"X's Thursday Update"

Whats good people. It was a short work week and Im loving it. Tomorrow is pay day and im going to the Sprint store to replace my TREO the dam thing keep crashing. They cost so dam much you would think they wouldnt have all the glitches that a dam computer has. lol. I can't wait for Sprint new Samsung "Instinct" to come out June 20th. I will definetly have one in my possession as soon as it drops. I have a screen shot below. Fuck the I-Phone this is what I want and it has an expandable SD slot and can handle up to a 8GB card. Yessirrr. This shit is FIREEEEEEEEEEE.



Memorial Day weekend. So I had a cookout monday family came over. We chilled and bugged out like always. The only thing different is I invited my sister best friend who happens to like me to the cookout she couldnt make it last minute so I said what the hell since ol'gurl cant make it I'll invite ol'gurl I went to the movies wit last friday. She cam over with her 10 month old daughter and her neice and when she came into th back yard all eyes were on her. My dad gave me a crazy look when he saw ol gurl wit the car seat lol. I had to reassure him that I didnt have any kids that I was hiding from him lol. All he could do was smile and greet shorty. The night went on. I couldnt really drink like I wanted to cause I had to take my nephew an sister home. So I had my lil ol cup of Grey Goose and Cranberry an sat on the deck entertaining my company.

I put myself on a budget ughhhh. I can only spend 200 dollars on bullshit and gas for the next 2 weeks. Im doing this so I can get my new car come september for the big 22. Dam It felt just like yesterday I turnt 21. Dam time sure as hell flew. Anyway I put a couple hundred away so far but I have people asking to borrow money and me with the heart of fucking gold just keep on lending it out, but I know god is going to reward me in some kinda mysterious way lol.

My ex-boyfriend got married and we actually have not messed around at all. I told him that I'm proud of him and I'm living my dreams threw him. I just can't see myself geting married no time soon and not so dam young...shit we the same dam age lol. I gave him all my well wishes and blessings. We are like the best of friends now. Despite him trying to mess around one last time the week before he got married, but I had to decline cause it would only make me feel uncomfortable knowning we could never be and he's only doing this cause this is the last time he will mess with a dude an he wanted it to be with me...blah blah blah. I just ignored his calls the entire week until the day of the wedding and told him why I didnt answer the phone and that I was doing him a favor by not fucking around 1 last time. He understood and thanked me.

I just got out of a luncheon with one of our top customers which is Ken's Foods the salad dressing people. We had a pretty interesting lunch conversation. It feels so good to be so young and around the table with a bunch of Salesmen and have people listen to you. Ahhhh I'm slowly but surely climbing the corporate ladder. I'm full now an I'm tired of typing so. I'll catch y'all on the flipside. Dam I just rememebered my lil bro going to the prom at 5 o'clock. This should be interesting ya'll know how the Showcase can be when you see all the ghetto fabulous outfits people wear to Prom. I might post pics.

Until Next Time...................

"Have My Cake An Eat It Too"

Okay y'all know I play both sides of the fence and today Im going on a date with this girl that I been knowing for a while now. I don't really find her that attractive but hey what the hell. Hopefully we will just be civilized people and just go to the movies and go out to eat and I can drop her ass off back home and go about my business. I really dont wanna wind up messing around with her. Cause y'all know I love to eat pussy. I swear it clears up my acne everytime I get a pimple. Anyway we gone go to an early showing to see the new Indiana Jones Movie.

So lately I've been driving my moms Mercedes and I seem to not want to drive my car more and more. maybe because my car is a 1997. Its in okay condition, clean, etc, etc but I want a new one but I don't want the car payments. I know y'all feeln me on this one lol. I'm tryna save money but you gotta aspend a lil to have nice things. I don't know If I can commit to paying a damn car note for like 4 years. Thats like being married to my dam car. I love the way my moms car drives, nice and smooth, sleek black leather interior, dam Im having an orgasism thinkn about it lol.

I felt some kinda way on tuesday, I was home in my bed bored, watchn Hells Kitchen by myself. I didnt like the feeling it was awkward. I recently made a deciscion that I'm wishing I never made. At least I was guaranteed 1 day out of the week now all I have is a memory. Dont know how long I can bare this bullshit , but I made my bed and now I have to lay in it. Dam .... I wanna say shit just cant get no worse, but I'd be lying.

Can y'all tell Im just rambling on an on right now lol.

I think im coming to ATL next month just to get outta Jersey for a week probaly visit my fellow blogger That Dude Right There while im in his neck of the woods. I have a lot of vacation time...shit I could take off for a month if I chose to but wateva. I need the perfect vacation me and my shorty taking a flight of our choice to were ever we want to go. We both live busy lives and need the mental rehabilitation. Stay at a resort all enclusive. I mean just live life to the fullest. But thats all a dream. I'm really starting to hate the single life. I mean I got niggas and chicks tryna hollern but there not what I want most want a relationship but they just are fuckn ugly. ( I know im not the cutest thing in the world but shit can I get sumbody that dont look like fuckn "Uncle festor from Addams family" or fuckn "Fran" from HBO's "The Corner"). I have my eye on one special dude but if that doesnt give way . I'll just settle for ol'gurl. But I know in my heart I wouldnt fully be into her. Only because my other half seems to overpower me and I end up cheating on her with a dude. Thats why my fellow bloggers i need to "Have My Cake And Eat It Too"

I went to reggies party last week and had mad fun. Thanks for the invite

Happy Belated Birthday to Reggie & Mike.

Dam I wish I was going to MIAMI this weekend but I made previous plans and its too late to book a dam flight...hotel...etc.

Until Next Time.............

"Very Irritated"

Soooo ummmm yeah i'm very fuckn annoyed today.

1. I'm annoyed cuz ummmm lets see, i'm at work for one.

2. I'm very annoyed...I'm still fuckn lonely. Are there any good men out there. I got gurls calln but dam what I want is a dude on my arm shit.

3. I'm very annoyed.....Why the fuck didn't I hit the lottery last night. I mean dam I play faithfully lol

4. Im very fuckn annoyed...because am "I" a fool for wanting to be with somebody that just wants to be friends. Only to stick around an get my heart broken into a thousand pieces. Why do I bother?

5. I'm so fuckn annoyed ....that my stomache deceides to do backflips as soon as I get to my dam desk. Dam "I-HOP" last nite (Sidenote: I don't do the public bathrooms for the #2 especially at work.)

6. I'm very fuckn annoyed.... that I havent had SEX in months (4). Once again me being a fool wanting to get involved with someone who just wants to be friends. I'm waiting for what? The don't call me promiscuous X for nothing. (I'm a born again hoe)

7. Here's the kicker....I'M SO SO SO FUCKN ANNOYED and pissed off that yesterday I jerked off not once but twice and I was shooting muthafuckn blanks. I mean no cum came out. I was like what the fuck??? I think my dick put me on strike. I mean I do beat my dick 3 to 4 times a day , but still im young dumb and full of cum. (Fuzzy I think you gave me something just to be spiteful lol)

8. I'm very annoyed ....at the fact that I already spent half of my reccesion check. What the fuck was I thinking.

9. I'm annoyed cuz half my reccesion check went to buying fuckn birthday/mothers day gifts for mom/dad/aunts. I mean them mutherfuckas raped my pockets.

10. I'm just a mad black man tryna makes some sense of this shit. I'm annoyed, I'm so fuckn annoyed....shit rite now i'm just very fuckn annoyed.

I really didn't feel like posting but since I been posting every week now I figure why stop even If I have my ass on my shoulders today.

Until next time.........

X

Him, Her, Me.........

I'm just gone ramble on today, I have a lot to say so I just can't focus on one aspect in this post so please forgive me lol.

I chilled with my friend last nite. Every week I come over to watch one of the shows we both have in common and we take turns buying each other dinner but this week was different he made sum chicken alfredo and a side of chicken nuggets accompanied by some fruit punch. I was quite impressed lol. Hopefully next time I can show him how I throw down in the kitchen. Fuzzy you not the only that can cook lol, (sorry for putting you on the spot lol)

I just found out my uncle who is a fuckn hipocrit is having twin boys by his jumpoff. I asked my mom is he still married. Come to find out his wife knows and is okay with it since she cant give him kids. I still say thats no fuckn excuse to let your husband go out and get a dam girl pregnant. They are two very church going people. I know y'all church folks heard of a DUTIFUL WIFE but dam she just plain fuckn stupid. I just don't understand people these days and they fucked up marriages lol. This shit should be interesting. Oh did I mention he's a church CRACKHEAD. How he snort cocaine and still go to church on sunday and got the nerve to be called a prophet lol. A hot ass fuckn mess I tell you. Thats my unlce for you lol

On a straight note. Okay I finally got a chance to see my mom on sunday after her being hospitalized all last month, she called me I pick her up from NYC, brought her back to jersey to see my sister and nephew. We took pictures laughed recapped recent events etc.etc, but in the process of this. My sister is staying with one of her female friends which so happens to take a liking to me while I'm visiting. Leave it to my mom on our way to Shoprite to shout out. "So and So", Don't you want a good man , with a good job and has a car." At first I was confused but I quickly caught on and peeped what she was doing. Then she just gets real bold and says to me in front of her, my sister and the baby, "She like you and I think yall should exchange phone numbers." I bust out laughing like y'all not right lol. Mind you the whole time they were plotting on me the whole time, they even made her sit in my front seat lol. Needless to say before the nite was over we exchanged phone numbers, but the catch is I have yet to call her and this all happened on Sunday. I just don't wanna get close to one of my sisters friends, granted I've been known to be a double dipper lol. I know I like male & females so I could never give both partys all my attention, I tried in the past and it never works out the way I plan. I always end up hurting both. I'll call her tonight and take It from here. I really have a bad feeling about the whole thing but ole girl is just to dam sexy for me to turn down and I wanna smash lol. No strings attach , but I don't think she the type of girl to go for that. Plus Im trying get to know this special someone and me trying fuck ole girl and holla at him , dude aint trying to share lol so I don't know what to do. I been wanting to settle down with a girl for the past year , but now that I'm trying get to know dude I don't know if I want it that bad anymore. Who knows, I'll keep y'all posted.

Moving on....I have come to realize that I'm a potential alcohilic. I drink everyday...everyday lol sometimes to the point I drink just to fall asleep, I've been drinking since I was 12years old so drinking is nothing new to me. I do things when Im under the influence luckily when I'm with the crew and Its just them, they get to see my wild antics all the time lol. I have a high sex drive and I'm always horny and ready to freak so when I drink it realy doesn't help the situation. I wake up sometimes an don't even realized what the hell I did the nite before , sometimes I do but 99% I don't. Sad yeah I know lol. My friends are always nagging me about my drinking habits, but I say I'm not an alcoholic. I have potential but I only drink when I get home or go out to a party, Nooooo you won't catch me carrying around a lil cantene with E&J in it or watever. I only do it on my own time. I'll try to cut back since I have so many people that wanna see me live till im old and grey. I say you gotta die one day so live life to the fullest and If I wanna drink like Bobby Brown said "Its my Perrrogative" lol. Thanks for reading my lil entry.

(PS shawn ima buy you some boot cleaner. Cuz this text is a hot ass mess) LOL LMMFAO

Until next time................

"La La" Means I Love you (1993 - 1995)

Happy Birthday Lil Sis. Your weren't hear long, she took you from us. Its not a day I don't think about you.

"Yolonda" aka (La La)

Hey bloggers today I celebrate the life of my lil sis. I managed to find the news story on her in the Star Ledger.Here are some excerpts from the paper. I'll post the full story when I get a chance later on. I got teary eyed reading it I must admit but I'm holding it together.

"1995/01/31 Tue Pg , "FOUR ARE CHARGED IN DEATH OF BABY GIRL"
... Street in Newark were charged with endangering the life of a baby girl after the 20-month-old was discovered dead on Sunday morning at their apartment. Detective Daniel Collins, a police spokesman, said police were led to the body of 20-month-old Yolanda "" on Sunday after her grandfather discovered that the infant had stopped breathing at 6:50 a.m. Collins said Marvin "", 46, the baby's grandfather, reported that the baby had been sleeping on the couch. He said the baby's...

1995/02/01 Wed "WOMAN CITED IN TOT'S DEATH"
... with three other people on charges of endangering a child, was charged with homicide yesterday after she admitted stepping on the toddler left in a friend's care, officials said. Phyliss "", of Somerset Street, was charged with the death of Yolanda "", a 20-month-old girl, said Detective Daniel Collins, a police spokesman. "" was arrested with three others after the child was discovered dead in the apartment Sunday morning, Collins said. The child's grandfather,...

Who knew a friday night/weekend with my mom coming to pick me up from my dads moms house could of turned into a nightmare. If only I would of went that friday night to my grandfathers house. He came by to see if I wanted to see my sisters cuz they were staying the night at his house but I said no ill see them tomorrow. He said you sure. I said yeah. Not knowing my whole world would be turned up side down the next morning. To wake up to an empty house. I get out the bed yelling Mom, Mom" , only for her half brother to come banging on th door to show me a bloody pillow, saying Zay, "Londa dead. I just stood in shock and couldnt process it right away but when It hit me I broke down.

Happy Birthday La La...Love your big bro.

Until next time........

PS......(This isn't my post for the week)

" Juicy" X's Version

It was all a dream
I used to wake up in the morning texting
Visions of me and you up in the limousine
Downloading your pictures on my phone
Every Saturday Rap Attack, Mr. Magic, Marley Marl
I stayed on the phone until my call dropped
Smokin' weed and kool aid, sippin' on private stock
Way back, when I had the red and black lumberjack
With the hat to match
Remember Rappin' Duke, duh-ha, duh-ha
You never thought that me and you would take it this far
Now I'm riding down a dark street with no street light'cause I'm tryna avoid a fight
Feel like I just got played, I wanna blow up like the World Trade
Dam nigga, I feel like a loser
Remember when we use to eat BK for dinner
Peace to you and yours
I'm falling back like you thought I would
Call the cell, same number same hood
It's all good

And If you don't know, Now you know NIGGGGAAAAA

*On a different note. I just wanna thank ALL of you for the encouraging words of comfort. I will try to task my self with getting outside help. For now I'll keep on dealing with my innerself. Shout out to Danyne for coming threw my spot lol and to blogtopia I thank you from the sincerest part of my heart. It kinda turning black as we speak. (Like they say nothing last forever)

Playing Kieth Sweat - "Make It last Forever" (Dam I miss the "90's)

Until Next Time............................